Lyric of the Week: I FIND MYSELF

Once passing through the wave storm

And making it through alive

I find myself observing a colorful morn

And wondering how did I survive

In the view outside all my worlds meet

Long Beach boardwalk, Jerusalem hotels

Florida coastline, Jersey streets

This is heaven ‘cause it sure ain’t hell

We must be over the rainbow

Or at least over the horizon

I find myself by a picture window

The Atlantean sun is rising

I find myself speeding down the turnpike

Through the refineries involved in a mad race

With someone I don’t even know, and I don’t know

If I’m chasing or if I’m being chased

I don’t know where it’ll lead

And I don’t know who will win

All I ask is that I want to be freed

From the paradox I’m in

I find myself put on the spot

In an awkward situation

Am I or am I not

That is the question

I find myself at a Thanksgiving party

Surrounded by old friends

Trying their best to make me feel welcome and warm

On the couch staring into the fireplace

All comfort and rest failing me

I still feel the complications of the storm

I find myself on the schoolyard grass

Beneath the full August moon

Wrapped up in the arms of a girl I haven’t seen in years

Tonight everything seems all right

But tomorrow she’ll be gone

Leaving me to my long-forgotten fears

I find myself chasing phantoms on Ocean Avenue

Searching for my lost love run away

I find myself above the city in the sky so blue

Staring down at the wreckage of Independence Day

Will I ever find my place one day

I find myself in a place where it’s not dark but it’s not quite light

Where the people aren’t dim but they aren’t exactly bright

I am a man alone racing in a maze for survival

Trying to avoid the forces that feed me deprival

This place is Everywhere, Anywhere, and Nowhere too

It’s so otherworldly but what am I to do

Much has happened here in Nowhere but nothing is finished here

The climax is on the horizon but I still can’t see it, it just ain’t clear

Science fiction or science fact

Fantasy, reality, paired back to back

What’s real and what isn’t it’s hard to keep track

‘Cause all I got used to is now messed

Am I here or am I there

Or am I really Everywhere

All that’s left to do is to say my prayers

And hope to high heaven for the best

Is it scared or is it profane

Is it spiritual or is it mundane

Is it profound or is it inane

What is this “it” that’s eluding me?

Will I wither or will I bloom

Am I facing a revival or certain doom

The fire is burning but I’m not consumed

It’s inside and it’s transmuting me

I will climb the mountain

Until I fade away

Leaving all to wonder what’s at the top

I find myself

Mystified yet unafraid

To take this challenge whether I soar or drop

©2024 The Hesh Inc.

Once passing through the wave storm and making it through alive, I find myself observing a colorful morn and wondering how did I survive.

I wrote this science-fiction epic during the summer of 1986, right about the midpoint of my service in the Israeli military. The lyrics are based on a number of dreams I had throughout my life, from age 13 up until that point. The music was inspired by Dire Straits' "Private Investigations" and Kansas' "Closet Chronicles," two songs that were in heavy rotation on my Walkman, and even Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus," which was riding the airwaves in Israel at the time. Never recorded or performed, but envisioned as part of an album called Not Just Another Summer, consisting of similar epics and based around my dreams and experiences.